Archive for the News Category
There are two ways to “experience” an image-editing program such as Adobe Photoshop. The first way is to actually sit down and use the software for its intended purpose — to manipulate images. That’s easy enough. The second way, on the other hand, involves a significant amount of pain: you get used by the software, when some antisocial hater finds a picture of you, digitally defaces it, puts it online, and lets it spread virally. After something like that happens to you, life can really suck for a long time.
Anyway, while reading the news over a cup of chilled guava juice this morning, I was stunned to learn that Adobe plans to revamp Photoshop’s interface to make it easier to use. Well, kudos to Adobe! Simplicity is a good thing. Or so they say.
But when something becomes easier to use, lo and behold, guess what happens? It also becomes easier to misuse. So naturally, there must some people with out there with less-than-noble intentions, who must be absolutely thrilled to hear about this announcement from Adobe.
So members of the sauhard.com team tracked down Stacey, a girl who broke up with her boyfriend yesterday after a bitter argument. She agreed to talk to us about what she plans to do in the near future. Her plans do indeed involve Photoshop. I might warn you, they are not particularly pretty. Reader discretion is advised.
Continue Reading “Angry Girl Plans to Blatantly Misuse Adobe Photoshop” »
General Pervez Musharraf, the President of Pakistan, is the attention-grabber-of-the-week, after declaring a state of emergency in his country, in which basic civil liberties are suspended. This basically means that if I were in Pakistan right now, I could be jailed for saying something like “OMG, Musharraf is total suckage!”
While a large number of people are condemning Musharraf’s decision to impose a state of emergency, there are some who approve of his decision. The sauhard.com management team managed to find such an individual. His name is Trevor.
But wait a minute. Trevor is not Pakistani. He is not a politician. He is not a human rights worker. Most of the time, Trevor isn’t even remotely interested in what’s going on in the rest of the world, or even in the rest of his neighborhood.
Instead, Trevor prefers to get buckets of chicken wings from a fast food restaurant, and then sit down in front of his computer to multitask furiously: he eats the chicken with his left hand, while killing virtual opponents with his right hand, in an adrenaline-filled session of Unreal Tournament.
Obviously, with a lifestyle like that, Trevor has little time for distractions. So why has he suddenly become so interested in Pakistan? I’m every bit as baffled about this as you are. Let’s talk to him and find out what the scoop is.
Continue Reading “Pervez Musharraf Inspires Gamer to Impose State of Emergency” »
Recently, some folks have been gossiping about an Egyptian monarch, who, at several points in his life, was between 9 and 19 years old.
We are talking, of course, about King Tut. After 3300 years in an underground hermitage somewhere in the Egyptian desert, he’s become rather disenchanted with the inhuman climate, as well as the lack of buddies with whom he can socialize.
So he’s moving to a new, air-conditioned chamber, which provides him with an interface with the public. He’s a happy camper now, his main concerns having been appropriately handled.
Patty recently visited King Tut. She is the editor of a historical beauty magazine, a magazine which focuses primarily on the underexplored intersection of history and beauty.
Unlike many who have visited King Tut at his new location, Patty was not particularly thrilled to see him. Accordingly, she decided not to feature his picture on the cover of an upcoming issue of her magazine.
I was very surprised to hear about this, so I invited Patty to the sauhard.com headquarters to have a little chat about her decision.
Continue Reading “Beauty Magazine Editor Rejects King Tut for Cover Photo” »
We learned today that George W. Bush dislikes water.
Just stop and think about that for a moment. How is this possible? Your chemistry textbook will tell you that water is an amazing substance. It’s a close cousin of bread — as the famous saying goes, “you can’t live on it alone, and you can’t live without it.”
Furthermore, water lets us take showers, keeps our trees green, and keeps our computers dead. It also makes our dogs clean, and it helps mosquitoes reproduce.
So how could anybody be so opposed to such a talented and versatile substance? I just don’t get it.
But a Hawaiian surfer named Donnie thinks he has a clue as to why George W. Bush doesn’t like water. Let’s see what Donnie has to say about this distressingly confounding issue.
Continue Reading “Hawaiian Surfer Explains Why Bush Vetoed Water Projects Bill” »
If you’ve ever tried to look for information about a topic on the web, but weren’t able to find it at sauhard.com, chances are you’ve probably turned to Wikipedia to make yourself a world-renowned expert on the topic.
And if you’re looking something that is frequently edited, or is particularly controversial, you may have seen “cleanup tags” like this one:
It’s not the end of the world when you see that, but what kind of impression does it leave on a first-time visitor who doesn’t quite yet understand the constantly evolving nature of Wikipedia?
It’s a problem for Wikipedia. In order to combat it, some Wikipedia contributors created a spin-off called Veropedia, which takes only the best articles on Wikipedia, and makes the pages completely static and uneditable. So in essence, Veropedia is an “Encyclopedia-Britannicized” Wikipedia. Good or bad?