So it looks like I managed to go about five months without posting a single thing on this blog. That’s like a world record. I don’t know how I pulled it off. I must have been lazy. These sentences are too short. This is not a sufficient apology.
In the meantime, while I plan the future of this site, please be sure to check out a side project of mine, over at www.obivido.com.
Sauhard of sauhard.com is a procrastinator and needs to be punished for letting this blog not be updated for so long. There’s just no excuse. What do you think should be done to him in order to ensure that this kind of thing doesn’t happen again?
Remember what life was like ten years ago, when, along with Britney Spears, DVD’s were like the coolest thing in existence? A DVD was a shiny reflective plastic disc that served two purposes–it could be used as a mirror that you could use to check out your acne, or it could be used as a medium to store the contents of The Matrix, so that you could watch the movie once you were finished crying about your acne. It was seriously a pretty chill piece of technology.
Fast forward to today. It seems like DVD’s just don’t get any respect anymore. HD-DVD and Blu-Ray have been two very rowdy little children, using their better video quality to bully poor daddy DVD all the way to the graveyard. So nobody likes DVD’s anymore, and the term “DVD quality” is now a bad thing. How terribly sad.
But like Romulus and Remus, the two kids who founded Rome, Blu-Ray and HD-DVD got really bored after they murdered their dad. They started going after each other, each becoming increasingly jealous of the other. After a few years of mutual pitchfork-stabbing, it looks like Blu-Ray has come out victorious, while HD-DVD bleeds to death.
But not everybody is happy about this outcome. Regina, a 30-year-old woman from Montana, was very upset when she learned that Blu-Ray had killed HD-DVD. I invited her to the sauhard.com headquarters to find out why she felt that way. When she came in though, her acne was so bad that I almost gagged. But she whipped out a DVD from her purse and held it up, so that she could apply acne medicine to her face. Then we got down to discussing the merits of HD-DVD and Blu-Ray discs.
Continue Reading “HD-DVD User Vents Frustration with Blu-Ray” »
We here at sauhard.com watched the Democratic presidential debate in Texas last night. Overall, I thought it was pretty bland, but we got really interested when one of the contenders — her name was Hillary Clinton or something like that — mentioned the idea of “change you can Xerox.” Many people think it was a mistake that she said that. But I beg to differ; I actually think it was a pretty brilliant line. Now before you start berating me for not appearing to support Barack Obama (sauhard.com endorsed him a while ago), please hear me out.
You know, I really, really love change. In fact, I have loved change in the past, I love change now, and I will continue to love change long into the future, even after I am dead. I love change because of the things that I can get with it — such as sugar gumballs, candy bars, and licorice lollipops. All of these items would make me happy. Diabetes? Not today, maybe tomorrow.
But, there’s one problem. Change isn’t the greatest thing in the world. For instance, more change is better! Logic suggests that the more change you have, the more sugar gumballs, candy bars, and licorice lollipops you can get. I even made a graph to prove my point. Check it out.
Continue Reading “Change You Can Xerox” »
Around this day several thousand years ago, some dude in the Roman Empire was executed for doing something. So apparently, we’re supposed to celebrate this execution by spreading love, right? Absolutely. So instead of planning and conducting interviews as we normally do, the sauhard.com team took some time today to write some pretty poetry.
So if you’ve been too lazy to search for red roses or blue violets for your special one, don’t freak out! We are here to help you out on this special day, with poems to cover a variety of situations.
Feel free to take these poems, print them out on nice paper, and send them to your lover to show just how much you care!
Continue Reading “Lovely Poems For Your Valentine” »
Many economists believe that money should be distributed in a way such that everybody is happy as possible. So this generally means that if you’re rich, you should give your money to the poor (by paying high taxes). Similarly, if you are poor, you should receive money from the rich (by being negatively taxed).
Sometimes, of course, rich people grumble about having to give up some of their money for what arguably is no apparent reason. After all, they earned it, right? As a result, there are really only two realistic options that a rich person has when he or she is being taxed like crazy:
- Suck it. The world really blows.
- Blow it. The world really sucks.
Many rich people will resignedly grumble and choose Option 1. But that’s really boring, you know. More interesting are those who go about Option 2, often in very creative ways. We here at sauhard.com managed to effectuate something pretty interesting when interviewing a millionaire named Roy and a billionaire named Roger.
Continue Reading “Billionaire Hires Millionaire Servant to Promote Income Equality” »